Group Guidelines

The following guidelines are read at the beginning of every Small Group meeting. They help to make sure the sharing time is well-balanced, safe, and productive.

1. Keep your sharing focused on your own thoughts and feelings.

This means not sharing about your spouse’s, boyfriend or girlfriend's, or your family members’ hurts, habits, and hang-ups. Focusing on yourself will benefit your recovery as well as the ones around you. Stick to ‘I’ or ‘me’ statements, not ‘you’ or ‘we’.

2. Limit your sharing to 3-5 minutes, so that everyone has an opportunity to share.

3. There is NO cross talk during the sharing time.

Cross talk is when two or more individuals engage in conversation. Each person is free to express his or her feelings without interruptions. This also means not making distracting comments or asking questions during the sharing time, or speaking to another member of the group while someone is sharing. Cross talk is also if a member responds to what someone has shared during his or her time of sharing. Additional types of cross talk would be handing a tissue or tissue box to someone while they are crying; this interrupts feelings. (There is healing in tears!)

4. We are here to support one another, not “fix” each other.

This keeps us focused on our own issues. We do not give advice, try to solve someone’s problem in our time of sharing, or offer book referrals or counselor referrals without being asked for help!

5. Anonymity and confidentiality are basic requirements. What is shared in the group stays in the group.

We are not to share information with our spouse/family/friends/co-workers. This also means not discussing what is shared in the group amongst group members. This is called gossip.

6. Offensive language has no place in a Christ-centered recovery group.

Therefore, we ask that you please watch your language. The main issue here is that the Lord’s name in no way be used inappropriately.

7. We avoid graphic descriptions.

If anyone feels uncomfortable with how specific a speaker is sharing regarding his/her behaviors then you may indicate so by simply raising your hand. The speaker will then respect your boundaries by being less specific in his/her descriptions.